What Is and Isn’t Bullying
According to StopBullying.gov, the definition of bullying is: “Unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time.”
The key point is that bullying is targeted, intentional, and repetitive. It is a pattern of behaviors that harms a child.
Bullying can take many forms, and there are four categories of bullying:
1 – Verbal Bullying
This includes teasing, name-calling, inappropriate sexual comments, and taunting.
2 – Social Bullying
Often referred to as relational bullying, social bullying happens when someone is trying to deliberately hurt another’s reputation. This includes spreading rumors, repeatedly excluding someone, and telling other children not to be friends with someone. Conflict and drama are not always bullying.
3 – Physical Bullying
This includes hitting, pushing, tripping, stealing possessions, and sexual assault. Boys are more likely to participate in physical bullying than girls.
4 – Cyber-Bullying
Cyber bullies use the internet (social media, mostly) to target their victims. Rumors and insults can quickly spread through social media, and it’s nearly impossible to eradicate them.
Bullying is NOT:
1 – Excluding someone
It is not considered bullying if children exclude someone on the playground now and then or don’t invite someone to a party. Repeated and deliberate exclusion, however, can be bullying.
2 – Disliking someone
Children may verbally or nonverbally communicate their dislike of another child. This is okay, as long as they don’t start rumors or verbally abuse the other child.
3 – Accidental physical harm
A child might unintentionally bump into or trip another child. This it is not bullying if it is not deliberate.
4 – Being “bossy”
It is natural to want friends to play a certain way, and some children take the role of being the director. Learning to lead skillfully is a lifelong process, and most kids haven’t mastered it.
5 – Telling a joke about someone (once)
While this is not great behavior, it is not considered bullying unless there are repeated instances. Of course we should teach our children that one single joke about someone may hurt that child’s feelings, and it’s not okay.
6 – Arguments
We all argue, and arguments will inevitably happen at school.
Sources include: Family Matters Practical Parenting Blog, StopBullying.gov, http://www.pacerkidsagainstbullying.org